Thursday, December 30, 2010

The Top 10 Cat New Year's Resolutions

1. Get In Shape

Do you sit and wait at your food bowl an hour before dinnertime? Does five minutes of playing with the cat dancer leave you out of breath? Maybe it's time to reevaluate your eating habits and physical fitness routine. Why not add an extra few laps around the house when you get a case of the kitty zoomies, or maybe leave a Temptations treat or two behind next time you snack. On the other hand, when it comes to kitties, big is beautiful and a little extra cushion just means more square inches available for petting and cuddles.

2. Get A Job

With the help of the internet, cats these days have more opportunities than ever before to bring home some serious bacon. Whether it's publishing your own blog, web comic, or books, there's really no excuse for modern felines to sit idle while someone else is footing the bill. At the very least, do something cute, and make sure your food person gets it on tape so they can post it to YouTube for maximum profits.

3. Get Organized

Sure, it's really fun to drag your toys all over the house, and delight your human with a furry mouse in their shoe; But listen, you're not getting any younger, and sometimes it's hard to remember exactly where you tossed your favorite crinkle ball. What's a feline with a short memory span to do? I don't know, what were we talking about? Kittens!!

See also BuzzFeed's 15 Ways To Organize Your Cat

4. Get Out Of Debt

Cats generally don't have money, so this shouldn't be a problem.

See also Think Geek Mechanical Kitty Coin Bank

5. Spend More Time With Loved Ones

No, this one's not for you, dear kitties. Everyone knows that cats only give their love and attention when they feel like it. This is about getting your owners to spend more time catering to your every need. Unfortunately, they too often are busy on their computers, watching TV, fulfilling basic hygienic needs, sleeping, etc. to drop everything and be with you the moment you decide it's time to cuddle. This is the year to fight back with epic bouts of cuteness and naughtiness to get the attention you so fully deserve!

See also The Oatmeal's Cat vs Internet

6. Learn New Things

Cats are naturally smart (no matter what anyone says), however, if the mood strikes you, why not take time in 2011 to pick up a good pick or enroll in a class at the local community college? If all else fails, a smart pair of spectacles is a good way to show the world how studious and thoughtful you really are.

7. Travel The World

There's a lot more out there to see in the world beyond your water bowl. Why not book a spontaneous trip to Paris to see the Eiffel Tower, take a safari to see the big cats in Africa, or fly to Japan to visit the cat cafes of Tokyo?

See also Pet Airways

8. Get A Hobby

True, the old thinking was that cats didn't need hobbies because they were so busy eating and sleeping. Not anymore! Today's cat is an avid multitasker, able to do it all and still have time to squeeze in 13-18 hours of sleep a day.

9. Take Time To Smell The Roses

Just don't eat them.

10. Take More Naps

This one is self-explanatory. Sun puddles don't soak up themselves!



Nikita Cat & Elvira Mistress of Pussydom said...

I love it!

An opinionated pussy with a sense of humor just like us! ;-D

Thank U for visitng our blog today! ;-D

I've just added you to The Pussy Roll in my sidebar. ;-D

Daddy & I have been trying to figure out how to do #2 (No not THAT #2, the one in your post, jeez!) for 8 years.

We have never had the skills, connections, and resources, to bring great attention to our creative efforts, or earn money with them.

Giving me a blog last january, after 8 yrs. of sharing, was our first step in this effort, and we want to do more with youtube than we have, and per #6 we are learning Word, excel, and Powerpoint 2007 plus Adobe PSE9 especially in the hopes of getting Daddy off un-employment.

With his medical issue, and the arrival of Elvira,, then un-employment, things we had hoped to do at the beginning of 2010 had to take a backseat.

Hopefully 2011 will be different.

As for #7...we are Stroller Kitties! ;-D


Unknown said...

How could fail in the New Year with all that wisdom. Especially the part about comics!!!!

careers4YourCat said...

Love, love this! Shared with Careers for Your Cat FB fans! Especially love #2: Get a job! And #1:Get in shape. Although personally for me I like #10: Take more naps!

Catsparella said...

@Nikita Thanks for stopping by and commenting! It sounds like you've been working really hard, and only good things are ahead for you! I wish you the best of luck with all of your endeavors in 2011!

Catsparella said...

@careers4Yourcat Thank you! <3

Avalon Cat Cartoon said...

My New Year's resolutions for 2011:

*Become one of the most famous cats in the world
*Gain more than 1.000.000 followers for my online cat cartoon at
*Get more movie appearances (I already had a part in the horror film The Strangers Outside)
*Continue being one of the most adorable cats in the world

Julia Williams said...

Hahaha! Love it but #10 is my personal favorite.

My cat Rocky posted his take on New Year's Resolutions for Cats yesterday!! I'm sure he'd be thrilled if you came by. =^..^=

Happy New Year Catsparella!

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